Fortune Cookies

Here is a small collection of some of the fortune cookies I've found over the past few months that I have particularly enjoyed.  What do you think?  Whats your favorite?

                                                       That first one sounds a little extreme.

                                                              Pretty sure its gravity.

                                              That last one is a good one to remember.

                                          It knows I order too many things from amazon.

Why my mom is the best.

I am thoroughly convinced that I have the best mother in the world.  My brother and I were just talking the other day about how cool she was.  Here are a few reasons:

1. She is the nicest person I have ever met.  Really, I don't think I've ever heard her say a mean thing about anyone.  Thats not to say that she has not had problems with people, but she handles them in the most mature and loving way.  Its really inspiring to watch her deal with problematic people.

2.  She knows everything.  If I ever have a question about anything (what to substitute for butter in a recipe, how to get a stain out, where to buy certain lightbulbs, or if my black shirt goes with my brown shoes), she has the answer.  Its really quite amazing.  Anything you would expect a mother to know, she knows. I think it must be some magical power you get when you become a mother to know how to get a stain out.*

3. She's incredibly smart.  This is different from her just knowing everything.  She has this incredible power of understanding.  She is able to understand things at a deeper level than most people.  This is why she is so good at her job.  She write lessons plans for the adult sunday school classes at church.  She writes them!  This also makes her the perfect person to ask for bible references, or if you want a good women's devotional.

4. She's fun. She's fun to be around and she makes time to have fun with me.  Once, my mom and I sat on the couch all weekend and watched pretty much all of Arrested Development.  She laughs easily and makes jokes.  Shes just great.
Here's a snippet of a conversation with my mother:
Me:  Dogs are so cool.  They are animals....that want to play with you.  Thats so cool.
Mom:  (sinisterly) Boa constrictors want to play with you.
....

5. She threw the best birthday parties.  Seriously.  Looking back on them, they were so cool.  I had a school themed party, a mermaid party, a raggedy ann party, a ballerina party, a tye-dye party (where she created this elaborate maze of tye dye string in the basement), my brother had a space party, a treasure hunting party, and much much more.  They were so cool.

6. She's the most laid back person ever.  Come to think of it, I can't think of a time when I've seen my mother angry.  She's definitely been disappointed (she has the worst disappointed look....it fills you with shame), but I've never seen her lose her temper or yell.  That's pretty cool.

7.  She's so pretty. In a vote amongst some of my friends, my mom was voted the "hottest mom"  But really, shes so beautiful.

Yeah, so my mom is really awesome. I'm glad she is my mother and I'm sorry for everyone else who doesnt have her for a mother. 
I could go on and on about all the different things that make my mother awesome, like how she is strong and sensitive and wise and has the best fingernails, but that would take forever.  My mother is the wisest, most godly, kind, beautiful, talented woman I have ever met in my life and I'm eternally grateful for her.  Thanks, mom!


*Oh!  I thought of another magical mom power:  finding things.  How is it that I can search my room for 10 minutes and not find something and all she has to do is stand in the doorway and she can find it in 20 seconds?  That's another ability you get when you become a mom, I think.

. 

Fortune Cookie of the Day

 

I'm not sure why it specifies green tea ice cream, but ok.  

Also, this is not true.

Things That Drive Me Crazy

Its list time.  I will branch out and do other blog like things soon, but for now Im gonna write some more lists.

Now, I am not a very easy person to annoy.  I don't get angry very often and I'm very hard to offend, but there are a few things that really irk me.  So, here is a checklist of things that are guaranteed to make me not like you very much (if you happen to have that goal, you're welcome):

1. Pet names.  Most of you probably know that pet names are one of my biggest pet peeves.  Sweetheart, honey, babe, hun, etc...If you are a girl and you are my age, you are NOT allowed to call me any of these.  Its extremely condescending.  My mother and old ladies are allowed to call me these.  That's it.  If you are a man and we are not dating, you are also not allowed to call me these.  If we are dating, 'honey',' sweetheart', 'doll', and 'darling' are all acceptable.  Baby doll is not.  My dad can call me princess.

2. Feminists. Now, I am a woman so I obviously don't have a problem with women.  I like that I can vote and have rights and can get a job if I want to.  I don't have a problem with fighting for women's rights.  I have a problem with feminists who look down on women who aren't fighting for their place in the business world.  I have a problem with saying that being a stay-at-home mom is somehow not good enough.  And I have a problem with saying that I have to BE a man and that I'm not allowed to have emotions or be girly/feminine.  It also drives me crazy when feminists pick apart stories/books/shows/movies for being sexist.  There is just no way to please a feminist.  I read an article a few weeks ago about whether Joss Whedon really writes strong female characters and it made me so mad to read it: http://www.themarysue.com/reconsidering-the-feminism-of-joss-whedon
This was my response to the article: It is reasonable if you accept feminism as "being a man, and getting rid of any part of you that is at all feminine."
I agreed with the first comment on the article.  
Perhaps I will write a blog about feminism at some point.

3. Bad tippers.  As a server in a restaurant, it just really annoys me when someone tips me badly for no reason.  At least leave a little note explaining what I did wrong.

4. Complaining for the sake of complaining.  I am guilty of this sometimes, I know, but I see it a lot.  Frequently, at work, customers complain to me about something long after I could have done something about it.  "My food was cold"  "it was dry, it could have used sauce", etc...Well, maybe if you had said something earlier, I could have fixed it, but you didn't want the problem fixed now did you...you just wanted to complain for no reason! 

5. Slow internet.  duh.


Well, Ive run out of things.  I'm sure there are a few more, but its annoying me just thinking about all the things that annoy me.  Next time, I'll try thinking about things that make me happy instead.

Fortune Cookie of the Day

 Working at a Chinese restaurant, I see a lot of fortune cookies.  Here is one of the better ones I have seen:

relationships.
Yup. 

Sunday Confession

So its Sunday and I didn't go to church today because my brother took the car, so I will make my confessions right here.  I also read on Google that people love lists.

1. I am that person that squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle.  I apologize in advance to my future husband for having to deal with that.  Maybe we can just get separate toothpastes.
2. I have trouble making absolute statements like "The Little Mermaid IS my favorite story of all time."  Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.  I can't tell.
3. I rarely ever put away my laundry.  I just take it out of dryer and put it on, until my brother puts it in a basket...then I take it out of the basket.
4. I am afraid of commitment.  Any sort of commitment.  I even have trouble making plans for the next day cause...what if Im not feeling it tomorrow.
5. I have seen all of Vampire Diaries.  If you know me...that is, indeed, a difficult confession. 
6. I always secretly wanted to be a waitress.  Now I am one.  Its not as glamorous as in the movies.
7. I really love stupid teen movies.  Ive seen almost all of them.  10 Things I Hate About you, Clueless, Bring it On....all of them. 
8. I'm addicted to buying things on amazon. 
9. I've never given something up for Lent.  Ever.  And I don't plan on it.
10. Today, I just want to eat lots of brownies and watch tv in my pajamas and not talk to anyone, but unfortunately, I have to work.
 

Thinking of the last thing on a list is always the hardest.  Interesting.

Have a good Sunday. 

Jumping on the Bandwagon

So, I've always wanted to start a blog (I'm not sure why, maybe I'm just jumping on the bandwagon here for no reason), but I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say.  What is even the point of a blog?  I don't really have a business I want to promote or anything.  So really...I haven't figured out why I'm doing this, but here I go.  Here is my blog.

I graduated from college almost a year ago and I think that I need something to stimulate my mind so maybe writing out my thoughts and opinions on this here blog will keep me busy and keep me smart. 

Actually, right now I am googling "what is the point of a blog?" and "blog ideas."  Seriously, you can google anything these days.  Theres a website for everything.  A few months ago I wanted to meet a friend of mine in between our two houses and instead of spending time trying to figure out what the halfway point was and if there was anything interesting to do at the point, I just googled "meet someone halfway" and it gave me the site: www.meetways.com.  So the next time you have to meet someone, there you go.  Google. Amazing.

So, for this first blog post I'm going to do what my friends Liesl and Star did and say a few random things about myself:

.......................


Nevermind, I'm not doing that.  I'm terrible at doing that.  We'll learn interesting things about myself as we go.  If I even remember to keep blogging.  I'm also terrible at doing that.
Got any suggestions of things for me to blog?